SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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