Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
