I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
