Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
