I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
