Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
