i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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