Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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