Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
