I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
