marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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