dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
