I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
