i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
