you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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