Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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