smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
