Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
