MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
