What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
