ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
