i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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