I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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