is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
