Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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