No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
