I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
