I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
