This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
