I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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