i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
