I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
