You're so nebulous sometimes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
