It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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