this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
