office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
