but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
