There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So here I am, sexting at work.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
