Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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