I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
