Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
