Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
