I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
