Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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