And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
