nutella sex= disaster
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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