Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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