i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
