Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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