I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
