i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
