Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You are the jesus of drinking
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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