went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
