Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
