If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
