I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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