dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
